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I Can't Stand Him
(Sung to the tune of "I'm Still Standing" by Elton John)
(instrumental introduction)

Hey, Buchanan, go take a hike.
It's blood that you want, so here's my advice.
Just shoot off your mouth when the light shines on you.
You'll wind up like a wreck, and fall behind - you're going to lose.

And did you think this fool could ever win.
Well look at him, he's coming back again.
He got a taste of power, and he's joined the fray.
And we are gonna crow, 'cause we can't stand you, you'll just fade away.

Don't you know I can't stand him now (not that I ever did).
Talking like a pile driver, acting like a little kid.
No, I can't stand him after all this time.
There will be no peace, only strife, in Pat Buchanan's fevered mind.

I can't stand him... (n'yea, n'yea, n'yea)
I can't stand him... (n'yea, n'yea, n'yea)

No, he could never hope to win.
He's talking to Perot to let him run again.
The threats he made will not be watered down.
And if the right wing were a circus, he's be head clown by now.

Don't you know I can't stand him now (not that I ever did).
Talking like a pile driver, acting like a little kid.
No, I can't stand him after all this time.
There will be no peace, only strife, in Pat Buchanan's fevered mind.

I can't stand him... (n'yea, n'yea, n'yea)
I can't stand him... (n'yea, n'yea, n'yea)

(instrumental break)

Don't you know I can't stand him now (not that I ever did).
Talking like a pile driver, acting like a little kid.
No, I can't stand him after all this time.
There will be no peace, only strife, in Pat Buchanan's fevered mind.

I can't stand him... (n'yea, n'yea, n'yea)
I can't stand him... (n'yea, n'yea, n'yea)
I can't stand him... (n'yea, n'yea, n'yea)
I can't stand him... (n'yea, n'yea, n'yea)

(repeat and fade)



More Pat Buchanan song parodies from 1996:
Buchanan's Gonna Fall (Rockin' Pneumonia & the Boogie Woogie Flu)
Nine Little Leaders (Nine Little Reindeer)


Copyright © 1999 by W. Tong

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