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Constitutional Pride
(Sung to the tune of "American Pie" by Don McLean
Guest song parody by Mark Hoolihan

(instrumental intro)

A long, long time ago...
I can still remember...
How the system used to make me smile.
I knew it was more than chance.
How people chose their own circumstance.
And everyone was happy for a while...

But that November made me shiver,
With each return that they delivered.
Bad new from Florida,
Our electoral Golgotha.
I can't remember if I cried
When all the returns, they were tied.
Something made me sick inside,
The day the system died.

So,
Bye, bye, Constitutional pride.
Founding Fathers didn't trust us, so now our hands are tied.
The lawyers came out from both of the sides,
Singing, "This will be a case we can try.
This will be a case we can try."

Did you read the Federalist?
Did you think it could ever be like this?
Did your teachers tell you so?
Do you believe in liberty?
Can lawsuits ensure that we're free?
And can they make the process go real slow?

While I know that you're a partisan.
Cause you have a different opinion.
And I can't trust you to choose.
Or else my party will lose.
I was a wide-eyed young American,
With a faith the process worked in the end.
I knew it was all in the can.
The day the system died.

Bye, bye, Constitutional pride.
Founding Fathers didn't trust us, so now our hands are tied.
The lawyers came out from both of the sides,
Singing, "This will be a case we can try.
This will be a case we can try."

Now for some time we've been on our own.
Expanding franchise to every home.
But that's not how it used to be.
When Jefferson talked of Liberty.
He meant only white males of property.
And not the rabble called you and me.

So the electoral college they wrote down.
Said we're too stupid to choose the crown.
The convention adjourned.
Of our will they weren't concerned.
While Jefferson said all men were free.
Sally Hemmings she made his tea.
She knew nothing of liberty.
The day the system died.

Bye, bye, Constitutional pride.
Founding Fathers didn't trust us, so now our hands are tied.
The lawyers came out from both of the sides,
Singing, "This will be a case we can try.
This will be a case we can try."

Helter skelter, the machines falter.
Lawsuits are ballot counting halters.
Patience high but falling fast.
It seemed so easy in civics class.
Republicans tried to make it pass.

And said who cares about all those whose votes were cast.
Now the public air was tense that week.
While peoples' protests they sounded meek.
They all wanted to dance.
But they never got a chance.
Cause the people wanted an even field.
But the system it refused to yield.
Do you recall what was revealed,
The day the system died.

Bye, bye, Constitutional pride.
Founding Fathers didn't trust us, so now our hands are tied.
The lawyers came out from both of the sides,
Singing, "This will be a case we can try.
This will be a case we can try."

And there we were all watching that place.
A stable nation now lost in space,
With no time left to start again.
So punch your chad fully and be quick.
The machine won't count it if it sticks.
Confusion is the devil's only friend.
And as I watched him up on that stage,
My hands were clenched in fists of rage.
The system he sent to hell,
Demanding victory before the bell.
And as his beacon broke through the night,
Lust for power not freedom's light.
I saw King George laughing with delight
The day the sytem died.
And he sang:

Bye, bye, Constitutional pride.
Founding Fathers didn't trust us, so now our hands are tied.
The lawyers came out from both of the sides,
Singing, "This will be a case we can try.
This will be a case we can try."

I met a pundit who sang the blues.
I asked him for some happy news.
But he just smiled and looked away.
I went down to Lincoln's statue.
He always knew what we had to do.
But the statue talked of a different day.
In the streets protesters screamed
One side arrogant, the other dreamed.
But no good answers spoken;
The system it was broken.
And the three things I always held dear:
Our laws, liberty, and lack of fear.
Seemed somehow in danger here,
The day the system died.

Bye, bye, Constitutional pride.
Founding Fathers didn't trust us, so now our hands are tied.
The lawyers came out from both of the sides,
Singing, "This will be a case we can try.
This will be a case we can try."



Alternate versions of this song parody:
The Day The Vote Was Swiped by Skisics Surus
That Guy by Aaron Jacobson
Other political song parodies by Mark Hoolihan
More George W. Bush song parodies from The Dubya Song Book!


Copyright © 2002 by Mark Hoolihan - Visit his web site, Hoolinet, at http://www.hoolinet.com
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