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Report of the Iraq Survey Team
(Sung to the tune of "The Twelve Days of Christmas)
Guest song parody by Phil Alexander
(instrumental intro)

On the first month of inspections, IST found for me
Not a trace of a WMD

On the second month's inspections, IST found for me
Two buried jets
But not a trace of a WMD

On the third month's inspections, IST found for me
Three mobile labs
Two buried jets
...yet no trace of a WMD

On the fourth month's inspections, IST found for me
Four drums of.. something
Three mobile labs
Two buried jets
...still no trace of a WMD

On the fifth month's inspections, IST found for me
Five false alarms!
Four drums of.. something
Three mobile labs
Two buried jets
...still no trace of a WMD

On the sixth month's inspections, IST found for me
Six papers (shredded)
Five false alarms!
Four drums of.. something, three mobile labs, two buried jets
...still no trace of a WMD.

On the seventh month's inspections, IST found for me
Seven missiles (missing) six papers (shredded)
Five false alarms!
Four drums of.. something, three mobile labs, two buried jets
...still no trace of a WMD.

On the eighth month's inspections, IST found for me
Eight empty shellsuits [editor's note: you mean shell cases, right?]
Seven missiles (missing) six papers (shredded)
Five false alarms!
Four drums of.. something, three mobile labs, two buried jets
...still no trace of a WMD.

On the ninth month's inspections, IST found for me
Nine nukes (not really),
Eight empty shellsuits, seven missiles (missing) six papers (shredded)
Five false alarms!
Four drums of.. something, three mobile labs, two buried jets
...still no trace of a WMD.

On the tenth month's inspections, IST found for me
Ten bites of botox, nine nukes (not really)
Eight empty shellsuits, seven missiles (missing) six papers (shredded)
Five false alarms!
Four drums of.. something, three mobile labs, two buried jets
...still no trace of a WMD.

On the eleventh month's inspections, IST found for me
Eleven elves on acid, ten bites of botox, nine nukes (not really)
Eight empty shellsuits, seven missiles (missing) six papers (shredded)
Five false alarms!
Four drums of.. something, three mobile labs, two buried jets
...still no trace of a WMD.

On the twelfth month's inspections, IST found for me
SADDAM HUSSEIN!
Eleven elves on acid, ten bites of botox, nine nukes (not really)
Eight empty shellsuits, seven missiles (missing) six papers (shredded)
Five false alarms!
Four drums of.. something, three mobile labs, two buried jets
...still no trace of a WMD.



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Copyright © 2004 by Phil Alexander
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