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I Will Connive
(Sung to the tune of "I Will Survive" by Gloria Gaynor)
Guest song parody by Michael Pacholek

(instrumental intro)

First they said I lost, I was mortified!
Daddy said it was my right, could my Dad have lied?
But Jeb spent so many nights singing his election song
I grew strong, I just went and played along.

And in my ears, this great big space
Inside this oval-shapey office with a smirk upon my face!
I'm dishin' out some awe and shock
The whole world's out there fearin' me.
But where's that Osama bin Laden?
And Saddam Hussein, where's he?

I gotta go, walk out the door
Go back to Crawford, 'cause I'm not smirkin' anymore!
Wasn't I the one who made Bill Clinton say goodbye?
You think I'll crumble, and let Kerry come and fly?

Oh no, not I! I will connive!
Oh, as long as I have money my Presidency stays alive!
I've got all my lies to give, I've got a mind just like a sieve!
I will connive! I will connive! Hey hey!

It took all the strength I have not to fall apart
When those commie-libs were saying that I got no heart.
And I spent oh-so-many nights trying to cook up some big tale
so I could lie, and then blow Iraq up sky-high!

And you see me, and I'm not true!
But I don't need an election, baby, Georgie don't need you!
But that Massachusetts geek who actually went to war
Thinks he'll make me lose next year the way I once lost to Al Gore!

I gotta go, walk out the door
Go back to Crawford, 'cause I'm not smirkin' anymore!
Wasn't I the one who made Bill Clinton say goodbye?
You think I'll crumble, and let Kerry come and fly?

Oh no, not I! I will connive!
Oh, as long as I have money my Presidency stays alive!
I've got all my lies to give, I've got a mind just like a sieve!
I will connive! I will connive!

Oh! I gotta go, walk out the door
Go back to Crawford, 'cause I'm not smirkin' anymore!
Wasn't I the one who made Bill Clinton say goodbye?
You think I'll crumble, and let Kerry come and fly?

Oh no, not I! I will connive!
Oh, as long as I have money my Presidency stays alive!
I've got all my lies to give, I've got a mind just like a sieve!
I will connive! I will connive! Hey hey!



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Copyright © 2003 by Michael Pacholek
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