Shrub was sitting watching football, While Cheney did the chores. He would have played Nintendo, But Pickles had locked the doors. He did some coke and bourbon, And munched some Frito Lays, He asked about some pretzels, And a waiter brought a tray. And so it was that later, As someone surely said, Shrub's face till then just homely, Turned a sickly shade of red. (instrumental break)

Cheney said, "Hey what's the matter?
You know you look like hell."
But Shrub could only gurgle,
He didn't feel too well.
As he gagged in his struggle,
And his thoughts were filled with dread.
He started slowly falling,
And landed on his head.

And so it was that later,
As someone surely said,
Shrub's face till then just homely,
Turned a sickly shade of red.

(instrumental break)

No one saw this act but Cheney,
So we have only his word,
But on it's face, his story,
Is patently absurd.
Shrub had been talking wildly,
He was talking quite a lot.
So Uncle Dick and Rummy,
Had to show him what was what.

And so it was that later,
When his bruises began to show,
They blamed it on a pretzel,
The truth we'll never know.

Copyright © 2001 by  Darrell Decker
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